After a long day that has been filled with stress and tension, do you long for a soothing, hot shower? The kind where the water pulsates against your skin as the steam rises up around you bringing with it the scent of some exotic shower gel you have lathered into your skin. Just the thought seems to slow my heart rate and brings me to a place that I desperately want to be.
Lately, a shower like that is something only in my distant thoughts because these days I am experiencing a completely new sensation when showering. It is one mixed with drama, humor and resolution that this is the way things will be for a while. You see, I am joined in my nightly shower by my three year old daughter. For her, it is an experience she never wants to miss.
Yes, gone are the hot, steaming showers as her young skin can only handle tepid warm water. Gone is the sound of the water hitting the side of the shower and a few moments of simple solitude and privacy. Now, I have a little shadow that joins me each night. The commentary is something that only a mother can truly love and appreciate. Because let me assure you…there is a lot of commentary between she and I during these times.
Of course, she notices everything and some of those things I will not mention – as I am sure your mind can take you there. Others are priceless and sometimes leave me without an answer…speechless, if you will believe.
Let’s start with “Mama, what are those?” Ah yes, you guessed it – the booby question. I respond with, “They are boobies just like yours.” She tilts her head slightly and says “But you have red tips on yours, how come I don’t have red tips?” I am left with…”someday you will.”
Shaving is no longer a mindless task that comes naturally. Now it is an endeavor filled with explanation of why do you shave and yes…hair grows in other places than just your head. But why? Because that is how god designed it…”Does God shave too, mama?”
I turn around to face the shower and lather up my head – trying to massage the soap into my scalp and soothe my head some. Immediately, I am reminded of the movie, “The Karate Kid” … wax on, wax off. Yes, someone is washing my "tail" reminiscent of the “wax on, wax off” scene from the movie. Ah, joy.
I turn to offer thanks and encourage the cleaning of her own "tail" – as it is important, too. I look down, trying to focus as the shampoo is still rinsing out of my hair. I am startled at what I see. It appears to be a little brown tadpole racing for the drain.
Immediately, I move like lightening has just went through me. I question my young shadow…”Dude, did you poopy in the shower?” Her answer comes very matter of fact, “No, it was just a little piece that got stuck in there from earlier when I didn’t wipe good. Don’t worry mama, I didn’t poop in here – it just fell out.”
Does this happen to all moms? Or am I just the lucky one? Is there some sort of mother self help book I should be investing in? Maybe I am a bit skewed…but somehow I find humor in this and felt the need to etch it in print. Possibly to use against this young one at a later date…like when she is sixteen and does not want to even be in the same house as me!
For now, I will be content with tepid showers, non-stop questioning and commentary and tag-team showering. It is my summation that laughing is better than crying and if the nightly shower inspires smiles and laughter…I can get used to it.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sweet Revenge: Simple Tactics You Can Use
Do you have someone in your life that is absolutely driving you insane? Maybe it is a co-worker, a roommate or possibly your husband??? Your day-dreaming thoughts lead you to scenarios that, at times, are down right scary…even consequences of jail time?? Well, I have come up with a few suggestions that may bring a little sweet revenge into your life. The best part…no jail time involved.
If you have a coworker that is extremely picky about the placement of their work materials, adjust them ever so slightly every day. It may be work tools, pens, supplies, computer monitor anything else in their work area.
Before one of your family members takes shower, remove the shower head and place a life-saver candy in it, replace the shower head with the candy now trapped in it. When the person takes a shower he or she will not notice, until they get out and start to dry off the towel will stick to them they will get back in the shower to rinse off... works like a charm.
Get up really early and sneak into your victim’s bathroom and fill their hair-dryer with baby powder. And when they turn it on, their head will be pure white just like an old person!
Get a small alarm clock and set it for 3:00 a.m. Sneak under the victim's bed. Once it goes off, he/she won't be able to find it will drive those nuts.
Stick a post-it note under your friend's mouse so that the paper leaf covers the mouse ball - the mouse will no longer work! Align so that the sticky part of the note doesn't touch the ball. Costs next to nothing to do, and doesn't cause any damage.
Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your victim) wanted them to drop over at 11am - they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.
Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.
Call your friend before he/she goes to work and say “I’m so sorry to hear you got fired!" - Act surprised they didn't know yet.
You may have some other ideas – please feel free to share. I hope you will try one of these out on someone. It will liven things up at home or work and maybe help you to cope better when they are driving you nuts!
If you have a coworker that is extremely picky about the placement of their work materials, adjust them ever so slightly every day. It may be work tools, pens, supplies, computer monitor anything else in their work area.
Before one of your family members takes shower, remove the shower head and place a life-saver candy in it, replace the shower head with the candy now trapped in it. When the person takes a shower he or she will not notice, until they get out and start to dry off the towel will stick to them they will get back in the shower to rinse off... works like a charm.
Get up really early and sneak into your victim’s bathroom and fill their hair-dryer with baby powder. And when they turn it on, their head will be pure white just like an old person!
Get a small alarm clock and set it for 3:00 a.m. Sneak under the victim's bed. Once it goes off, he/she won't be able to find it will drive those nuts.
Stick a post-it note under your friend's mouse so that the paper leaf covers the mouse ball - the mouse will no longer work! Align so that the sticky part of the note doesn't touch the ball. Costs next to nothing to do, and doesn't cause any damage.
Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your victim) wanted them to drop over at 11am - they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.
Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.
Call your friend before he/she goes to work and say “I’m so sorry to hear you got fired!" - Act surprised they didn't know yet.
You may have some other ideas – please feel free to share. I hope you will try one of these out on someone. It will liven things up at home or work and maybe help you to cope better when they are driving you nuts!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Only in Kentucky...
'Elvis' Shows Up at Kentucky Court Drunk
2008-03-05 21:34:57
NICHOLASVILLE, Ky. (AP) - A central Kentucky judge had a suspicious mind when an Elvis Presley impersonator showed up for court apparently drunk and sporting sunglasses and a rhinestone-studded shirt with a scarf draped around his neck. County Attorney Brian Goettl said that as a result, the judge had David Blaisdell, 64, tested for intoxication and sentenced him to three days in jail for contempt of court when it was determined that the man's blood-alcohol level was nearly twice that at which a person in Kentucky is considered legally drunk. Blaisdell, who was in court for a pretrial conference on misdemeanor charges of stalking and violating a protective order, told the judge he had had a few drinks the night before, Goettl said.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.
This kind of thing makes me proud to call Kentucky home...
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